5 Reasons Why Change Is so Hard?
The main explanation is the way our brains work, how we've evolved. So don't beat yourself up for not being brave enough, smart enough or having enough will power. Change can be exhilarating but it's not your fault that change is also often very hard!!
Your brain's top two priorities are to:
1. Save energy, which means follow the same habits - of thought and action. Until and unless it becomes clear that a change is definitely happening, then the brain will resist putting energy into creating a new neural pathway. It would rather revert to the old automatic pathways. This is why a new thought pattern or habit takes time to stick, or grove in, sometimes a very long time.
2. Keep you safe, which again means stick to what you know. Change is the only way to enrich and improve your life but your brain is wired for survival. You've survived so far right? So best not change. Change, however positive the potential gain might be, is a loss, we are giving up something.
Our next undoing can be our own enthusiasm for change, because..
3. You are not a super hero. When we are fired up to make a change it is easy to get started and to think big and that is fantastic. However, imagine you go from eating no fresh food and decide to eat only vegetables. You start big and eat only vegetables for 2 days, but on the 3rd have some cheese, what happens? Do we have one slip and then keep on track? Not normally, another slip happens the next day. If we don't judge ourselves too harshly then that's fine still may be incredibly healthy. But, if the goal was only vegetables then chances are you will be disappointed and feel you have failed. So may as well fail a bit further, eat some cake too, then delay for a day and eat whatever you like, then another day. Maybe start again next week, with unrealistic expectations, fall again and so on it spirals.
4. Environment always wins This is an absolutely huge topic, so it's sneaky for me to put this in as 1 reason really. Your environment is broken down into 9 areas including your physical environment and the people around you. Ever tried resisting chocolate when it's in the house or wine when a friend is having some? Then you know, willpower has to be incredibly strong to beat the environment and willpower can't last 24 hours a day indefinitely.
5. Lack of accountability. Most change is a 'nice to have' not life or death and therefore however easy it starts, it's also easy to stop. This is why if you have accountability, with a coach, or a friend to run with you, chances of success are much higher.
Has that comforted you into leaving this page now and staying where you are in life? Or do you still want to change? Is the certainty, safety and path of least resistance still unappealing?
Two questions for you?
First - what is your decision? The key first step to change is to decide. Are you going to start a the change now? And that is the only decision - "change now". "change" without the now is deciding that you aren't going to.
Second, what are you going to do next? In order to:
- Clarify what you want.
- Come up with the plan of 'how' to get it.
- Ensure you take action, review and measure, take action again.
- Keep motivated, resilient and creative.
- Most of all, how are you going to stay accountable? This is critical as the only way to guaranteed that you keep moving forward.
The answers are up to you and there are lots of strategies you can use to make a change. Although I believe everyone needs some support to achieve the best they can, you can certainly achieve a lot by reading '6 Ways to Make Change Easier.'
If you want to make a big change, such as a career change, then you might want expert advice and support. Coaching is the only way I know for getting the kind of support that means someone, with no agenda of their own, right there alongside you wanting you to achieve your goal as much as you do. To be honest and supportive. To help you find perspective and solutions. To motivate you and most of all to provide accountability to ensure changes happens, more quickly than possible on your own.
So if you are ready to commit and want to engage a coach to ensure change happens:
Let me tell you a little more about coaching, so you are clear what it is and isn't.
Then go ahead and book me.